"woke"

ўта сўл қанотчи; 

On 31 December, they had broken into his house, ignoring the shrieks and cries of his children and wife who had gathered round the dinner-table for the New Year’s feast. The NKVD men overturned the dinner table and stormed through the house, ransacking everything, rummaging through Abdulla’s books and papers: just then, the spectacle of that game of bozkashi passed through Abdulla’s mind.

Янги йил арафаси, 31-нчи декабр куни уйига бостириб кела, Янги йил кутамиз деб турган бола-чақанинг доду-войию оби-дийдасига қарамай, ўртадаги байрам дастурхонини ағдар-тўнтар қилиб, Абдулланинг китобу-қоғозларини тинтувига киришишганида, ана ўша улоқ саҳнаси бир кечиб ўтди Абдулла хаёлидан.

This wise woman described the girl so vividly that the Emir suspected it could not be true. When the other guests had left, he questioned Oftob, and the cunning princess replied, ‘My lord, I have been lucky enough to see this girl: her face is as smooth as porcelain, her eyes are like two evening stars when night falls, her waist is as small as a wasp’s, her buttocks are as heavy as rounded sacks of sand…’ Oftob resorted to the language of A Thousand and One Nights, which she and the Emir had so loved to listen to when they were children: Umar’s heart was conquered. 

Ул қилвир хотин қизнинг таърифини зиёда қилдики, Амирул-мўминийн орада таъмами ё ғараз бор деган гумонга борди, бироқ барча тарқагач, Умархон ўз сингли Офтоб-ойим билан қолганида, ул маликаи айёр негадир янгидан ўрганган Шаҳрихон шевасида: “Ҳа, тузук, бу қизди мен ҳам кўрғонман-да, бети - синмаган сопол ой, кўзлари – тун бошида ярақлаган Чўлпон, бели - болчи арининг белидек ингичка, думбаси қум уюмидек оғир”, - деб болалигида бирга тинглаган “Минг бир кеча” тавсифларидан келтирган заҳоти, Амирнинг юраклари дарз кетди. Эртак айтмиш, энди чегачига эҳтиёж унинг бутун вужудини қамради...

Hands cuffed, elbows gripped, Abdulla was taken down a dark staircase into the building’s basement. In one of the niches, by the dim light of the caged paraffin lamp, a swarthy Russian stuck his hands under Abdulla’s gown and poked in all his pockets, pulling out everything to the last penny, and then, after feeling his trousers, removed his thick leather belt. ‘Sign this!’ he barked, holding out a piece of paper. Abdulla gestured to his handcuffed wrists. ‘Well, scribbler,’ the guard laughed, ‘you’ve had your itchy little
hands put out of action!’ He kicked Abdulla in the knee so hard that the latter curled up in agony. ‘Hold the pen with your teeth,’ the Russian demanded.

Қўлида кишани билан Абдуллани қоронғу бинонинг қоронғу зиналари бўйлаб қоронғу ертўласига судрашди. Ертўланинг бир хонасида темир катакка илинган жинчироқ остида пешанаси кетга кетган бир барзангидек ўрис Абдулланинг чопони остига қўлини тиқиб, чўнтакларини кавлаб, сариқ чақагача бор пулини йиғиб олди-да, сўнг иштонига ёпишиб, ултон қамарини ечди. “Мана бунга имзо чек!” – деб бир парча қоғозни узатар экан, Абдулла қўлидаги кишанга имо қилган эди: “Ҳа, ёзувчишка, қичиган қўлларинг қисқарибди-да!” - деб тиззасига оғир ўтиги билан тепган эди, қимтилаб Абдулла чидаб бўлмас оғриқдан икки эгилди. “Тишла энди ручкани!” - деб ўшқирди бу бандибон жаллод.

‘Hold on, Vinokurov,’ said one of the men who had searched Abdulla’s house. ‘Watch you don’t finish him straight away, we’ve only just brought him in! I’ve still got to interrogate the son of a bitch.’ This man, evidently in charge, wished Vinokurov a Happy New Year before he left, presumably to celebrate with his own family.

“Қўй, Винокуров, - деб аралашгандек бўлди уйда тинтув қилганлардан бири, - келиши биланоқ ўлдириб юборма! Ҳали бу ифлосни сўроқ қилишим керак! Пока же в одиночку!” - деб буйруқ берди-да, анави онағар Винокуровни Янги йили билан табриклаб, ўзи уйга, оиласи билан байрамни кутгани кетишини айтдию маҳбусни Винокуров қарамоғида қолдирди.

You get used to physical pain: you synchronise your breathing to its throbbing waves, you are ready for the waves to surge up and you can wait for the waves to die down. But the pains of humiliation are unbearable, and it is impossible to endure the suffering caused by your own helplessness. At first Abdulla attributed Vinokurov’s brutality to the fact that he was a Russian, but he then recalled that among the men who searched his house there had been an interrogator who spoke Uzbek like a Tatar, replacing all his ‘j’s with ‘y’s.

Лўққиллаган оғриққа ҳам кўникса бўларкан: нафасингни оғриқ тўлқинларига мослайсан-да, бу мавжнинг авжини атайин кутасан, лекин адолатсизлик аламига чидаб бўлмайди, кучсизлик азобига бардош бериш қийин. Абдулла аввалига анавининг бағритошлигинию юрагини анор қилиб эзган бу оғриқни унинг ўрислигига йўйди, бироқ уйидан чиқаверишида афтидан андироқ татар терговчининг “ий”лаганроқ талаффузидаги гаплари эсига тушди: “Сини биз билябиз. Уртақларинг барлиғини бизгя йеткургянляр...”

In prison you can’t avoid getting a kicking. In 1926, too, Abdulla had been beaten within an inch of his life. What made his blood boil was not the physical pain so much as the treachery of his own people, black-eyed blood relatives whom he had trusted and considered to be friends. Back then he’d begged for death’s release: that would have been easier to bear than the company of his own black-eyed friends. He’d been too young then: he hadn’t thought of his children, nor of Rahbar.

Қамоқ борки қамоқда тепки емасдан қолмайсан. 26-нчи йили ҳам Абдуллани ўлардек тепкилашган. Унда ўзининг эгиз ўзбеклари. Лекин унда ҳам юрагини қон қилгани бу тепкилару муштлар эмас, ўзи ишонган, ўзи дўст деб тутинган қора кўзларнинг хиёнати бўлган эди. Ўшанда шу қора кўзларга қайта қараш ўрнига маҳкамадан тузукроғи уни отиб ташлашни сўраган эди. Ўшанда бебок ёшлик ғурурида на бола-чақасини, на Раҳбарини ўйлаган экан...