You get used to physical pain: you synchronise your breathing to its throbbing waves, you are ready for the waves to surge up and you can wait for the waves to die down. But the pains of humiliation are unbearable, and it is impossible to endure the suffering caused by your own helplessness. At first Abdulla attributed Vinokurov’s brutality to the fact that he was a Russian, but he then recalled that among the men who searched his house there had been an interrogator who spoke Uzbek like a Tatar, replacing all his ‘j’s with ‘y’s.

Лўққиллаган оғриққа ҳам кўникса бўларкан: нафасингни оғриқ тўлқинларига мослайсан-да, бу мавжнинг авжини атайин кутасан, лекин адолатсизлик аламига чидаб бўлмайди, кучсизлик азобига бардош бериш қийин. Абдулла аввалига анавининг бағритошлигинию юрагини анор қилиб эзган бу оғриқни унинг ўрислигига йўйди, бироқ уйидан чиқаверишида афтидан андироқ татар терговчининг “ий”лаганроқ талаффузидаги гаплари эсига тушди: “Сини биз билябиз. Уртақларинг барлиғини бизгя йеткургянляр...”

Had Rahbar given the children the oranges he’d meant for them? Tomorrow (but wasn’t it tomorrow already?) Abdulla had planned to take them to see the New Year fir at the Railway Workers’ Palace, where the biggest and best celebrations were supposed to take place. Last year the children’s favourites had been the trained dogs which answered questions and took turns pulling each other round on sleighs. Would Rahbar take them this time, and would they be allowed in if she did? Might they find themselves turned away at the doors, as the family of an arrested man? His heart sank at the thought.

Бердимикан Раҳбар-бону болаларига аталган норинжларни? Эртага (ё аллақачон бугунми?) Абдулла болаларини Темир йулчилар саройига арча байрамига олиб бориши керак эди. Темир йулчилар саройида арчаларнинг ҳам энг каттаси, томошанинг ҳам энг сараси бўлгич эди. Ўтган йили болаларига айниқса одам гапига жавоб берувчи қирриқ итлар ёққан эди. Кейин бу ажойиб маҳлуқлар бир-бирини чанада басма-бас тортиб кетишган эди. Олиб борармикан Раҳбар болаларини, ё олиб борса-да энди қўйишмасмикан уларни? Эшик тагидан ҳайдармикин баттоллар, қамалганнинг болалари деб? Юраги бирам эзилди болаларини эслаб.

Abdulla recalled a day from his own childhood, when he had dressed up in new trousers and an Uzbek gown to go to the Christmas tree celebrations. The caretaker at his Russian-language school stopped him at the school gates. ‘Have you become a kaffir now?’ the man grumbled, raising his stick to deal Abdulla a terrific blow on the thigh. The literature teacher, seeing this, hurried over and rebuked him: ‘This is a celebration of the birth of Jesus son of Mary, and Jesus is a prophet of yours!’ Abdulla’s leg was bleeding and his new trousers were stained; he ended up visiting the hospital instead of the Christmas tree. The teacher drove him all the way home, in his own carriage: a Russian, who had defended him from an Uzbek. No, generosity or meanness had nothing to do with nationality.

Бир куни ўзининг болалигида ерли рус мактабида ўқиятган чоғи ҳавас қилиб башанг янги шим, янги чопонда арча байрамига келаётганида мактаб қоровули Холмирза-тажанг эшик тагида тутиб олиб: “Сан ҳам копир бўлдингми?” - деб балдоқи билан бола болдирига аямай тушириб қолганида, буни кўрган адабиёт ўқитувчиси Георгий Евстигнеевич, чолнинг олдига келиб, тоза сарт тилида: “Ахир Исо ибн Мариямнинг милоди бу. Исо сенинг ҳам пайғамбаринг-ку!” - деб айтганини эслади Абдулла. Ўшанда янги шимию оёғи қонга буланиб, арча байрамининг ўрнига Георгий Евстигнеевичнинг извошчигида аввал касалхона, сўнг уйига қайтган эди у. Йўқ, саҳоватинг ҳам, разолатинг ҳам миллати бўлмас экан.

Thoughts have strange paths. Where had all this come from? The injuries to his body, Vinokurov’s threats, the immortal Georgian Leader? After all, Abdulla had been thinking only about his children, left to weep on New Year’s eve.

Хаёл йўллари ажиб. Қаердан келди буниси, танадаги жароҳатлариданми, ё анави Винокуровнинг дағдағасиданми? Ё балки лоямут гуржи пошшони эслаганиданми? Ахир Янги йил кечаси чирқиллаб қолган болаларини ўйлаётган эдию Абдулла.